well, if you're feeling sinister

girl, fragmented 2005
he was on the verge of the atlantic
where the coast is lined with small
hotels and families on vacation

when he met her: smiling girl
with sun-browned limbs and
a curious, lopsided smile

he remembers her now only
in words, adjectives, snatches
of descriptions used in retrospect

("blue eyes" or "sand-colored hair")

he feels he might be able to form
a picture, part of her face or
possibly a more crude vision,
girl bent, fishing for a dropped
object in the waters of a hotel pool

spine prominent,
swimsuit white,
and wet,
nearly too small

and, if not in words, he remembers
the scenery surrounding them: palm trees
balmy night-air, ugly tourists with veined legs
and ugly swim caps

he remembers saying goodbye,
the way she squinted through
dollar-store sunglasses to maybe

catch a glimpse of him
in the backseat of his father's car
because he was waving

hoping he might embroider
upon his thoughts or eyelids
her image
but only remembers

"hand on hip"
"waving lazily"
"yawning, i think"

//

2005
a cautious journey
of your fingers begins
as they stumble
through the heat
and your hand chases
mine
through a bright
desert of castle ramparts
and tickles the sand
sleepwalking
through the sunlight
echoing off
the chrome
of my father's car